day 1. dang no wonder I feel death is imminent!

Get Healthy Plan

Oct. 19^th, 2012

I have done many diets and crap to try and get healthy, none of which worked.  Now, I know why.  I wasn’t ready, mentally.  It is now recent that my lifestyle habits (none good) are catching up with me…in a VERY dire manner.  It is to the point now that I am in so much fear for my life that I need to take control of the situation ASAP. 

Here is how I treat myself, and the factors  effecting my wellbeing:

I am 150 pounds overweight.

I smoke a pack of Newports a day.

I am inactive at home.

I sleep 3-4 hours a night.

I drink a lot of coffee.

I don’t drink water for days at a time.

I have a HUGE load of stress.

I don’t eat right…my diet is whatever crap I throw together just to not be hungry.  I can’t remember the last time I ate a vegetable or a piece of fruit.

I skip breakfast and eat mostly at night.

I seriously have the weirdest diet ever.  I am overweight, yet, do not eat sweets often, don’t snack, don’t drink many soft drinks, and don’t eat much red meat.  I eat mostly processed foods, or foods with much starch.  This leaves me satiated, but lacking nutrients and I feel sluggish after eating….well, sluggish all day.  I don’t have a food addiction, cannot think of food when sad or stressed, and when I do eat, I get full quickly, so my portions are not big.  I guess with so many other factors to my ill health, nothing works right.  I am EXTREMELY out of balance.

Well, what drove me to write this, and decide to try AGAIN to change my life?  Increasing anxiety about my ailments causing me to think I am about to die at any given moment.  I feel so sick and achy non-stop and I’ve had it.  I want a normal life.  This is NO way to live.  I am finally at a point where I have had enough and am now mentally ready to change things.

Apart from the health risks...my self image is at play.  The person I see in the mirror is NOT the person who I really am.  I am a girly girl.  I am into beauty and all things style.  To see myself wearing clothes that are not me, but only for fit, kills me inside.  I feel like a prisoner.  I am not able to express myself the way I want, nor are people able to see who I really am either.  I get treated like dirt for being overweight.  I mean, If I lose all of this weight, my mind will still be there.  I will still be me.  But imagine, in your mind, you are this sultry, gorgeous, stylish fox....but nobody sees that.  They see a tired, overweight old looking person who dresses like someone twice her age.  It sucks.  Like seriously, it really fucking SUCKS.

So, following this page will be a daily log of my habits….eating, smoking, activity, water intake, even smoking and stresses.  I want to visibly monitor things….and monitor my progress. 

Day 1.  10/19/2013

This is the last day of my old self.  So the following will look pretty bad I think…

B-           24oz. WaWa coffee; sausage egg & cheese WaWa croissant sammich

L-            Stuffed shells and garlic bread; orange soda

D-           2 Hot dogs; handful of small pierogies; side of spaghetti. 8oz. coffee.

H20- I drank one glass after evening coffee as I began having heart palpitations and wanted to push the caffeine out of my system quickly.

Smoking- one pack. (My nerves have been on edge lately and have found myself chain smoking this week.  Boy do I feel it too.)

Activity- none but a short walk to the pizza place for lunch.

Hours of sleep- bed @3am.  Woke @7am

Feeling very tired today.  Also, I have had some heart palpitations, dizziness and stomach cramps.  I had one small panic attack.  Lots of worry about my health and was pretty anxious all day long.  I am feeling kind of depressed.

Weight: 272

Tomorrow’s goal: cut down on the cigarettes, drink 8 glasses of water, incorporate some veggies into my day. I will go light food shopping for some salad stuff, and other nutritious food.

My thoughts:

Wow.  Reading this and seeing my daily lifestyle in front of my eyes is quite a shocker.  I am really bad to myself. Wow. Just, wow…

So...where am I going with this.  What are my goals? 

To lose that 150 pounds, safely and naturally.

To quit smoking.

Become more active.

Establish a healthy eating routine.

Sleep at least 8 hours a night.

The weight and the smoking are the 2 on the top of my list.  These are the dangerous things that have me feeling like crap all the time.

I am currently in beauty school, and am on my feet a lot.  When i return home, I am exhausted and sport a grody set of swollen ankles.  

I suffer from nonstop pains and aches all over every inch of my body.  

By the end of this month I want to be at least 5 pounds thinner.  I have a little under two weeks.  Let's see how it works!

My current weight is 272.  

Shopping List for tomorrow:

Spinach greens

Tuna

water bottle to keep handy at all times

lemons

oranges

pineapple

apples

raisins

yogurt

boneless chicken

It will be hard to change my eating habits from a high starch diet to a clean diet.  But I feel that I can easily make myself used to these foods after a good week or two.

Maybe once I start to feel better, I will never be able to even imagine eating like shit again.

I hope this works.  I'm at a time in my life where if I don't make these changes, there will be no turning back. My health will suffer greatly.